Chapters 4 and 5 of Crazy Love were extremely convicting. Chapter 4 is a look at what being lukewarm is like. Chapter 5 is about how inappropriate being lukewarm is. I realized that there are areas in my life that I have not surrendered to God. I'm not talking about things I haven't been convicted of. I'm talking about things that I have been convicted of, but I thought they were insignificant, or infrequent, or acceptable enough that I didn't really need to give them over to God.
I changed my mind.
God's really been teaching me about just how extravagant, ridiculous, and fabulous His love is.
I may have talked a little about this in an earlier post, but I'm going to repeat it, if I did.
God is not a merchant. He does not do quid pro quo. It's not "I loved you this much, see, now you're obligated to give me 10% of your earnings, a quiet time, and some ministry."
It's more like... Well, it's like if you were a fishmonger, living by the sea. Not only are you a fishmonger, you're also the ugliest person in the whole kingdom. And even if you weren't ugly, it wouldn't matter, because you smell so badly of fish all the time that nobody can stand being near you. Then one day the prince/princess (depending on your gender) rides right up to your fish stall by the dock, overlooking the smelly harbor, and says, "will you marry me?"
The trouble is, many of us, myself included sometimes, think we have to earn Christ's love, even though we're already engaged. Some of us think it's a trick. After all, why would the prince/princess want to marry me? The smelliest, ugliest fishmonger the world has ever known? But Christ proved His love for us fishmongers. He came and lived among us. He sold fish in the stall next to my second cousin's. And then He died for us, and rose again to free us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm beginning to understand that Jesus isn't looking for our ten-minute devotions and work in the nursery, done because we feel obligated. That's what being lukewarm is. Instead He wants people who are captivated by Him. People who just can't get enough Jesus in their day. He wants a bride, not a prostitute. He'd rather get a fishmonger who loves him than a princess who thinks she can buy him.
And that's why I'm surrendering to Him.
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