Musings...

Well,

as of today I have only 2 weeks and one day left of "work" at Hospital Vozandes del Oriente. The time has really flown by. I'd ask for my summer back, but I think it went to a pretty good cause, so whoever got it can keep it, I say.

Let's see, what have I been doing recently...

Well, last week I helped Libia out mostly. There's a storage room full of things that have been donated to HVO, and it was a train wreck. So, I spent most of last week, yesterday, and today putting it in order.

Tomorrow Libia's going to Quito, so I get to fill in for her for two more days. After that, I have no idea. I'll probably go back to working in accounting, or maybe they'll put me on something new for the last week and a half I'm here.

So I've been thinking about what I've been doing over the past two months (almost) and here are some thoughts I've had...

I don't regret coming here at all. God's taught me oodles of things, and He's used me, too.

If could do it over again, I would have liked to go with a team somewhere. Working here at HVO is great, and I've met a lot of good people, but I feel like having some people to live and work beside consistently would have been a great encouragement.

Working in accounting and inventory has also taught me that sometimes as followers of Christ, we have to do some pretty unglamorous things. It's really difficult to see direct fruit from things like balancing accounts and counting inventory. It's all very behind the scenes. It's kinda hard to ask the question "How does Christ want me to count these syringes?" I never met most of the people those syringes were used on, or the people who benefit from me keeping accounts balanced, so it was difficult to see what I was doing as an act of love. But God's been teaching me how we as followers of Christ must do everything out of love and faith. As Paul puts it in Romans 14:23, "everything that does not come from faith is sin." And it wasn't for nothing that Jesus called "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" the greatest commandment."

I've also learned that sometimes loving Christ and serving others will go completely unnoticed or unappreciated by people. Much of what I did this summer was very hidden. The people I helped out will by and large never know about me or what I did for them.

And you know what? I'm OK with that.

God's also been teaching me about what love is and what it isn't. He's taught me that loving Christ and spreading that love around is not something I can "do." It's not a "me" show. In fact, one of the most beautiful things about Christ's love is that we do not have the capacity to love Him back. He has to give us even that. Every part of my relationship with God is a gift from Him. His love is a free gift. So is the ability to love Him back.

Isn't that just the most amazing thing ever???? My Father gives and gives and gives. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:11-13)

Morgan Holland: Quartermaster. Housesitter. Lizard Hunter.

Well, It's been a while since my last post...

Last week was fun. Libia went on vacation leaving me in charge of inventory for a grand total of 7 work days. By the end of those 7 days I was wondering how in the world Libia does it by herself. I fell behind.

I was also house sitting for the Williams, a family with Youth World. They took a team of 98 Americans, Waorani, Argentinians, Ecuadorians, and who knows who elsians to a camp out in the jungle in the northwest of Ecuador. They had a blast. I fed their dog. And their monkey.

Now for the lizard hunting part...

On thursday I was doing my inventory thing when three kids appeared at the door and said, "hay un lagartijo!" I didn't know what that was, so they went away confused and I stayed there confused and continued working. A few minutes later I went back between some shelves and there it was, a lizard.

It's about a foot long and green and freaked out about seeing humans. And so, of course, it ran away. It got under some shelves and stayed put, just where I couldn't reach it.

As of today, he's still in there somewhere. I didn't really have time to go chasing after lizards last week, and this week is no different. I've been working with Libia to get her caught back up, and she's terrified of lizards, so there were some tense moments when our stowaway/mascot decided to show his face.

I'll keep you updated as far as the lizard situation goes...

Thank you all for your prayers!

Until next time,

Morgan

Crazy Love

So I'm reading this book called Crazy Love. Actually for the second time. It's good. You should read it too. But read the Bible first.

Chapters 4 and 5 of Crazy Love were extremely convicting. Chapter 4 is a look at what being lukewarm is like. Chapter 5 is about how inappropriate being lukewarm is. I realized that there are areas in my life that I have not surrendered to God. I'm not talking about things I haven't been convicted of. I'm talking about things that I have been convicted of, but I thought they were insignificant, or infrequent, or acceptable enough that I didn't really need to give them over to God.

I changed my mind.

God's really been teaching me about just how extravagant, ridiculous, and fabulous His love is.

I may have talked a little about this in an earlier post, but I'm going to repeat it, if I did.

God is not a merchant. He does not do quid pro quo. It's not "I loved you this much, see, now you're obligated to give me 10% of your earnings, a quiet time, and some ministry."

It's more like... Well, it's like if you were a fishmonger, living by the sea. Not only are you a fishmonger, you're also the ugliest person in the whole kingdom. And even if you weren't ugly, it wouldn't matter, because you smell so badly of fish all the time that nobody can stand being near you. Then one day the prince/princess (depending on your gender) rides right up to your fish stall by the dock, overlooking the smelly harbor, and says, "will you marry me?"

The trouble is, many of us, myself included sometimes, think we have to earn Christ's love, even though we're already engaged. Some of us think it's a trick. After all, why would the prince/princess want to marry me? The smelliest, ugliest fishmonger the world has ever known? But Christ proved His love for us fishmongers. He came and lived among us. He sold fish in the stall next to my second cousin's. And then He died for us, and rose again to free us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm beginning to understand that Jesus isn't looking for our ten-minute devotions and work in the nursery, done because we feel obligated. That's what being lukewarm is. Instead He wants people who are captivated by Him. People who just can't get enough Jesus in their day. He wants a bride, not a prostitute. He'd rather get a fishmonger who loves him than a princess who thinks she can buy him.

And that's why I'm surrendering to Him.

Inventory

Today was Libia's first day of vacation, leaving me in charge of inventory. She came in anyway for about two hours to work on some personal stuff.

So far, inventorying has been pretty calm. Tomorrow there will be a little more work. We'll see how that goes.

So... I'm trying to think of things that happened in the last week that were interesting...

On Sunday there was a gathering here at the Schmidt's house - where I'm staying - to say farewell to a family that's leaving. It was really fun. There were hot dogs (or, the most hot dog-like things we could find), people that I knew, people that I didn't know, and a lot of Spanish practice.

Oh! as of yesterday, I've been in Ecuador for a whole month. It's been a month full of learning, and I'm sure the next month is going to be just as full. Thank you all for praying for me and for supporting me. It means a lot. Only one month and 11 days left.

I miss the people I know in the U. S. (one in particular), and I'm looking forward to seeing them again, but I find that I don't really miss all the "stuff" I left behind in the U. S. It's funny how a lot of things become unimportant when you discover that you don't actually need them.

I've been reading the book The Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning. I recommend. It's shown me just how much I still, still don't truly believe that I'm saved by grace alone, without any input on my part but acceptance. God loves us so much. More than we can fathom. He loves us so much that we (I) have a hard time accepting it. I'm so glad that I don't have to prove myself to Him - or anyone, for that matter. Sometimes I just forget I don't have to prove myself.

Anyway, I appreciate the prayers!